Testimonials

Testimonials (and other tall tales)

scarydollies.com is committed to providing the best in customer service. At least the best service a scarydollie can provide. Don’t set your sights too high, we’re just dollies after all, albeit very scary! We are proud of our continued success in scaring or simply upsetting one customer after another, though sometimes we fail and the dollie owner actually LIKES the scarydollie!!! Some dollie owners are REALLY WEIRD and the scarydollie becomes their FRIEND!!! Don't just take our word for it, read through our customer testimonials, and you'll see why we are the best in the scarydollie business!

Dear scarydollies.com,
What the Hell do you stuff the scarydollies with. My Jack Russel Terrier won’t stop humping it and every time I try to make him stop he tries to bite my face off!!!. I wouldn’t be so upset except that they’re both males!!!

Cheers,

Former Doglover

Cutie Comments: At least you don’t have to worry about having a litter of scarydollies!

Dear scarydollies.com,
Thank you for scaring the absolute shit out of my 7 year old son. He crapped in his drawers and has wet the bed every night since I brought my UNIT home. Thanks again for your help you sick bastards,.

Kindest Regards,

I. P. Nightly

Cutie Comments: Shouldn’t that be your son’s name, or is he I. P. Nightly II ?

Dear scarydollies.com,
My name is Fred. Just recently I lost my partner which was devastating. I was totally lost, could not sleep at night, and wherever I went I was very lonely. A friend suggested that I acquire an object to keep me company and remind me of the friendship I once had. A short time ago, I found this "Scary Dolly" which I purchased. For the life of me I don't know why they call them scary because they are so lovable. Mine goes everyplace I go particularly to bed with me at night. I would just like to say thanks to those who have developed these dollies.

Your friends

Fred and now Barney

Cutie Comments: You’re welcome Fred!

Dear scarydollies.com,
I bought my Unit scarydollie™ and thought it best to keep it in the closet. However, one day when my scarydollie came out of the closet, my daughter saw it and was very frightened by the size of the Units unit. She says she will never have anything to do with men if that’s what they look like! I expect she is going to become a lesbian and I will never have any grandchildren. Can I exchange my Unit for a Twat, so my daughter can practise being a lesbian for when she grows up?

Cutie Comments: ROTFLMAO! Exchange???

Dear scarydollies.com,
My young son was so intimidated by the size of the wang on the scarydollie™ I bought for educational purposes, I’m afraid he is going to cut his tiny parts off, tuck it in and become a lesbian and I will never have any grandchildren. Can I exchange my Unit for a Twat so my son can practise being a lesbian for when he/she grows up?

Cutie Comments: You must be related to the lady in the question above!!! Don’t be so upset, if he lives through the operation, he can set up a medical practice in The Caribbean.

Dear scarydollies.com,
My accountant husband was so humbled by the size of the wang on the scarydollie™ I bought for educational reasons, I’m afraid he is going to suffer from erectile dysfunction and I will never be forced to have sex with him again. Many heartfelt thanks for accomplishing what I have hoped for for years. I can’t part with the scarydollie now, he is the best marital Deflector Shield ever, however can you send me a Twat, so my family has a carpet to clean while I go off compile a guidebook to The Truckstops of New Jersey?

Cutie Comments: OK lady , now I know you ARE the lady in the question above. We’ll be glad to send you a TWAT as requested, just go to our order form, complete it and send it in and we’ll give you a 25% discount, so long as you promise to spend your savings on some of these before any truckers get past your prologue.